I am not a demographic...okay maybe I am...

Now, in general, I'm fairly opposed to playing the marketing and demographics game, but as we all know, convictions are meant to be tested. So when I was offerred $100 to go to a focus group whose target was "women and gay men in their 20s who drink vodka", I had to say "sign me up!"

You see, in a perfect world drinking would beget drinking, so this seemed like perfection itself. You mean, you honestly want me to go drink vodka on a Thursday night, at which point you'll give me $100 in cash, which I will then use to finance my weekend plans which will at some point include drinking? Where's the catch?

Well...they're marketing little flavored beans, pills, whatever they end up calling it, that you drop into vodka "infusing" the beverage with tastes and aromas like coffee, hazelnut, lemon peel, etc.

Apparently everyone else thought this seemed kind of like flavored roofies, but I was apparently too innocent to make that connection.

Okay, so when it came time to sample these wares, the only flavor they had was hazelnut - a taste I have never, ever appreciated in beverages. Keep it in chocolates, but not in coffee, not even in hot chocolate! Just candies. If you must. So yeah, they basically have me on camera sipping and then gagging, as I tried out their new innovation in the drinking experience.

That's the evil beauty of focus groups, you don't even have to like the product and they still have to pay you for your opinions. I guess one really should never expect soulless bottom-feeding to taste good going down. I just didn't think it would ever taste like hazelnut.